getting on hand, moving on* hatred in my heart and my soul

I'm getting everything on my hand.
I'm moving on.

3 years ago, i just graduate from my secondary school,
damn confusing over my future,
what should i study,
where should i study.

Half year later,
all because i show no interest in what my dad wanted me to do,
i just acted the way that i just don't care about anything.
My dad made his decision,
i ended up in Cyberlynx International College.
During that time,
i really don't want to do business.
i wanted to do something about designing,
i know it needs creativity,
i'm lack of it....
i just wanted to try,
but i never got the chance.
i feel.... u know.... not feeling good...
but i continue in that college,
doing my diploma in Business Administration.

A year or A year and half later,
my mama started to ask me of my interest for degree...
this is something that i never thought of during that time.
i.... just don't know what i wanted to do....
i don't have an ambigious....

But came to the end of the 2nd year of my diploma,
i found something....
something evil in me....
i wanted to have a easy life in future.
i wanted to have a luxury life for my parent.
both of them are not getting back what they should have from my elder bro.
i wanted myself to be able to give them what they should get,
and they want,
and plus what i wanted to give them.
Around 6 months ago,
i start of having some hatred inside me.
I gets myself much n much more aggresive everytime my parent talk about my elder bro.
I will give my parent their's pride.
Their's pride of giving birth to me, my 2nd bro, and even my little sis.
My 2nd bro live under my elder bro's shadow for many years.
He finally manage to have his own life.
People see him as him, and not see him as my elder bro's little bro....
I don't face this problem of living under shadow,
and i also don't know what made me dislike of my elder bro.....
okay, i knew.... i knew what made me dislike of his...
Not good to talk here.
Due to this evil hatred spirit in me,
i decided to have a taste of being lecturer.
Of being a lecturer,
i need to have a master.
I'll pay any cost and everything for getting my master.

By this september,
i'll be confirm graduating from Cyberlynx.
but before that,
end of this june,
i'll be in Kasturi College for my degree.
Bachelor of Arts (Hons) in Business Studies
I didn't made my mind up on what to study for degree...
But my mind set on having MBA in 3 years time.

The degree is not an issue after i've my mind set.
It's just like another stepping stone to achive of my MBA.
I believe if my evil spirit grow,
I'll be motivated even more...

I've a very beautiful and impressive stepping stone into my degree,
and i'll need to have a impresive stepping stone for my MBA.
Having Impresive degree result,
being 1st class honour will also help
my parent to gain back their pride.
the pride and the fact that,
he is smart and hardworking, but he's not as good as what i've done.
of what i'm going to do.
i hope i'm not wrong to have that evil thinking,
i hope someone support me, and....
i really hope i get it....
i want him to pay me some respect in future.
Especially to my parent.
I really care about them,
i'm very mind of what u did to them.
I must make u feel shameful!

"I WANT YOU TO PAY FOR WHAT YOU"VE DONE ON THEM! FEEL THE SHAME!"

4d5/5d5* attended 2004-2005, Class Reunion 2008

Hello, i'm back again to update my blog... =)

as u read the title of this blog,

i'm here to talk about the class reunion 2008 of 5 daisy 5.

Seriously, i'm actually not that close with them,

i seldom went into class, i seldom talk to them,

i seldom have fun with them, they are my ex-classmate, for 2oo4 & 2oo5.

however, i appreciate them.

they really did alot for holding this trip to Port Dickson.

They are amazing.

Explaining the trip with some photos. (faster ^^)

There goes the partly group photos.

The very first girl, Pui Yen;

her boyfriend, our class addmaths genius,

Jian Yong (pardon me if i spelled wrongly);

follow by the pinky guy, Boon Kiam;

the wide smile guy, Desmond;

the no much sound guy, Keng Sheng;

the "twins sister", Pauline follow by Wenjie;

last but not least, our handsome monitor, Lik Jin.

Dinner time!

Those are BBQ food that we did it downstair, at the garden.

It ended up in our apartment because outside is raining. (unlucky)

We Q those food in god speed.

Really fast, everyone did their part.

those food, partly are uncook, yet fresh. =P

i've little photos, most are during the dinner time,

i feel so pai sei, all the time, there is only me, attacking the food. ><"

Again, i'm eating.

can u see....?

i have a different hair style...

althought it's still short, but if u compare the above photo n this,

the length of the side hair are different.

porposely did it, one short,

the other long. nice? ^^ can't see uh...?

They are having fun at the beach....

1...2....3.... Snap/jump!

few snap, n finally, we got nice one.

they seem happy, they do, right?

i just don't feel like wetting myself that day.

it's fun to watch them play.

They play at the beach for quite some time...

an hour half or two....

they took alot of cute, funny and gorgeous photos...

this is the better photo that shows their

happiness during that time...

Everyone really jump in the same time.... COOL!

This is the photo where we took it from down to up....

it's actually a failure,

however, i posted it here because i wanted to show u the weather...

The weather is quite good when they decided to went to the beach..

They said they wanted to play banana boat...

but ended up, they didn't make it...........

the fee for the banana boat is rm10 per head. *expensive!

time to do some introduction.

from my left to right,

the beauty n sentimental, Wai Sin;

one from my only gang in class,

Yen Li, the............

can't think of a word........ ^^ good friend she is....

The fake twins...... ",

from my left to right,

Pauline, the elder one,

and Wenjie,

the younger one.

They both wear the same shirt and same "sandler"

when they depart to Port Dickson.

Okay, same, from my left to my right,

that is me, in pink collar shirt....

and the one in red is Yen Li.

We are in the same room....

We didn't allocate the room square....

We just choose and make it our room...

If u don't know.....

This is our handsome Monitor!

I'm not sure whether he is the one who plan this trip,

Anyway, there are few person that i really wanted to thanks,

*salute* To the Monitor, Lik Jin & the "mother of the trip" Pui Yen,

Thank you! Thanks to Pui Yen for making it such a comfortable trip...

I don't need to worry about food, drinks...

I don't need to worry about washing, cleaning,

she DID ALL!! Thanks alot!

This is me,

that is my DSLR Nikon D4ox??? yeah....

long nails i have.... kekez....

do i look pro?

I'm a profesional "LOMO" photograhper...

Kidding, LOMO is actually a type of camera which u can snap a series of action crystal clear... a few shot and snap within 30 seconds,

you can even snap it anywhere and anytime, in water, or something useless.

well, continue, from my left to right,

Lychee, Lik Jin, and ManYing.

I found something interesting during this trip,

these guys, they have a complicated relationship amount all of them.

They are really open minded people.

Glad to know that. =D

Again, from left to right too,

Wai Sin, Yen Li, Me, and Kim Foong.

Please don't not ask what am i wearing... =)

It is a Pink outfit....

Something like vest.... which will keep me abit warm...

It did a bad job!

A real bad job...

I still feel freezy after having that,

should have bring a coat.... or sweater....

The guy in Engineering.

Long not seen....

Boon Kiam,

he tell about his 2 years passtime story during the trip....

I get it all.... understand and agree to his worries...

I don't of him when i was secondary...

did not even talk to him up to 5 conversation...

but... yeah.... a friend who worth meeting every year... =P

Keng Seng,

this one is really one that i never spoke to...

I really never spoke to him before...

not even in this trip....

haiz...........

swt.............

Lychee,

Lai Chee Yen....

She has a Thai's name...

i think i knew her since.....

form 1??

maybe.... she is a cute one..... ^^

That is all for the trip....

As for more picture...

if u are interested,

u better visit their friendster....

i don't really have those photos...

their friendster full of it....

Have the access to my friendster,

and u'll found few of them.... =)

ah..... This trip is on the 7th and 8th of June...

One suprise...

they drink at least 5 bottles of beer (large)

the day before we came back....

and they sleep less than 3 hours....

they drove, and they speed up to 140km/j.......

they still have the energy to have spicy soup as their lunch at south city...

just now i went into a classmate's blogspot...

and i found out that, we are both using the same Layout.....

but, no worries...

i won't be using the same one for long... =) Bye...

the following blog will be the training camp of 70th scout troop, smk Seri Kembangan

at Isi Rimba Camp!

The day my ginger went to the vet

On the 17 of may,
it was a saturday.
i woke around 10am.
My malaysia studies class finished the week before 17th.
Finally i have time to bring along my dog to the vet.

Ginger is my beloved dog.
I loaded her into my car back seat,
i start driving,
i went to my mother office to pick her up.
She complaint of my dog.
She said ginger is smelly....
and it's naughty.
my mother wonder how i manage to tahan ginger during the whole journey...
ginger's saliva goes all over the car....
my shoulder too....

After picking up my mother,
we went to Puchong where my dad were waiting for us.
It is a pet shop + vet medication center.
I saw some cute dog at that clinic.
I even shown my parent,
of the kind of dog i wanted in the future.
They don't like my kind of dog... =(
Ginger will be my last pet...
after i've start working,
i'll buy myself the kind of dog i wanted...
and of course, it'll sleep beside of me,
this time, i'll not let it to stay outside anymore....
i don't likes dog staying outside of the house... =P

my parent don't seem to be banning me from my idea... =)
it was a tiring day to bring along my dog to the vet....
on the way back home....
ginger was alone in my car with me....
i was driving,
she crawl very hard to get herself to where my handbreak is...
she stay there quietly...
and disturded me from my driving....
i can't feel my air cond blowing,
she is wearing a con case on her head,
and her head is just in front of the air cond.
the worst part is i can't even control my gear....

On that day,
my father's car spoiled....
almost catch on fire on the wheel....
but luckily, nothing happened at last...
because we all stop when i can't control my gear,
and stop before the wheel is on fire..
tiring day....

Picture ready to tell story =)

Ola!
This very morning,
i'm here with photos.
Photos taken by the expensive camera i brought.
Some photos of what kind of stuff that made me broke. :)



This is a photo of a leave,
taken by my camera,
Nikon D40x,
cost me rm2400.
* i think it's much more cheaper now,
i bought it last year.

This is a book i read.
I... love this story.
It's about a german gal (actually a Nazi,

but adopted by a German family),
she loves books, she loves to read.
She steal to read.




Okay, here is one of my gadjet.
A MP4 player.
It was the 2nd player,
the first was red colour,
but then it spoiled within 1 week.
Take few weeks to repair,
therefore, change a new one (green one =])






The previous photo is the MP4 player
with my earplug,
this one is just the MP4 player.
It's with a touch pad.
I paid rm180 for it,
with a upgrade of memory card, to 2GB.






This is how it looks when u touch on the pad.
i bought it abit expensive,
bought it before PC fair,
during PC fair (KLCC),
notice i can buy a better MP4 with rm180.
='( (chinese said, cry also no tears)




Okay, i've just talk about my MP4,
n my camera quality.
Here comes my camera.


Haha! Yes, it's it!
Nikon D40x,
not a compact camera,
but a DSLR (digital single len reflex)
10.2 megapixel with
18-55mm f/3.5-5.6G ED II AF-S DX Zoom-Nikkor Lens
(don't get it? it's equally to 3x optical zoom)





Alot of function, I learnt about it before i used,
I almost studied the whole user manual.
I think i finished it,
i found photographing very interesting.
i love taking photos since i'm young,
I think it's cool to hold DSLR camera,
like my dad did when i was young.




Ai, don't misunderstand,
i'm not only like it like just what i said.
I went to NST's photographing workshop when i was around 13-14.
I went alone. Not that much fun, because i'm not a sociable person,
but then, i learnt alot during that week.
I also won in that workshop competition.
Let me illutrate what i took.
"A tree without leaves, with some shape behind it"
Winning that competition gained me a chance.
That "masterpiece of mine" is display at the art muzium of KL,
for 2 weeks, if i'm not mistaken. ^^
They have a pameran there,
it's ......... happy to have that kind of experience.
Atleast i made my parent feel proud.
it's like, "oh... my daughter do have something good at."



Ok, this is my new cam cord.
This cam recorder is the gadjet
that really made me broke.
Eventually, i've $$ for me to spend for months.
but i saw this thingy useful in PC fair,
Useful n worth buying.
Therefore i bought it.
This camcor, cost me rm700+? (if i'm not wrong)



I paid back all my debt to my dad,
I worked, i earned n i paid,
after i settle my nikon D40x's debt,
i added another debt for myself.
Which is this, another rm700 to pay back.
Luckily, there is no interest charge for these debts.
I'll have to work even harder to pay back
whatever as soon as possible.



This is it! ^^v
As u can read,
i'm working hard again.
1 thing i'm glad of was,
i managed to pay them by myself.
sedikit, sedikit, lama-lama, jadi BUKIT! hehe
If i never spent,
my saving will go like that too,
sedikit,sedikit, lama-lama, jadi bukit. haha. ><"

Anyway, i'm still not regret for what i've spent.
i still need something,
which cost me also around another rm500+,
which is a instant photo printing machine.
It's a printer, but a small one,
it can instantly print a photo after receiving command for ur camera.
of course, ur camera have to attach USB with that machine.
In 5 minutes time, it's out.
It's easy to print photo,
let said i wanna print a photo for a friend,
it will only took me few minutes to print n give it.
easy n "convenience" right?
sending ur memory card to the burning photos shop took me 1 day.
BUT, if i said i wanted to buy it now,
i'll a dead meat.
my mama doesn't allow me.
not now, perhaps, end of this year or next year,
when she don't remember how much i'd spent on IT gadjet. ^^
I'm a good gal, a good daughter. XD













Final shot, That's me!
I'm holding my camcorder with left hand,
and nikon D40x with my right hand to snap this photo. Pandainya aku, kan?

After my mid term

So, i'm here again to update something.
i still not have the time to snap photos of my new cam recoder.
i'll surely do it when i'm really free. =)

Beside, i bought 2 new watches with real nice price. XD (yeah, i did it again, wasting)
i can't control myself,
i'm currently working in Mines Shopping Center.
That's why i can't control it.

Last tuesday, i sat for my mid term exam.
Only one day, because there is only one subject.
Fast, n kinda easy.
Whatever my lecturer taught came out.
I'm on mid term break now.
Not long, only for one week.
Everyday seems to be my break,
because i only have one day class.

Today i went to my LAN subject lectures.
WOW! saw that handsome!
Tiba-tiba feel fresh in the class. =P
unfortunately, he's a malay guy, (super troper handsome *weeeeeeweeee*)
therefore, haha, i'll not be interested at all.
He's cool, wild hair style, talk, slim, *haha
his voices.......... ^^ (gotta stop those nonsense)
back to my class,
the lecturer is Ms.Aiedah,
she's good,
she came in class sharp 9am,
start the class sharp 10 minutes after the short break,
and ends her class sharp 11am!
She's cute too. (the other detail, imagine by urself)

After class, i went to my mum's office,
and i blog this.
since i got nothing to do in her office,
then, i'll show her how fast i can type by using a stranger's keyboard.
She said we can only type fast by using one keyboard that we familiar with,
proven! wakaka, i can use any keyboard to type as fast as i usually did. *scarrrrry*

I'll try to snap few photos of my new watches, and my collection of watches n post here.
ahhh, and also my camera and cam recorder. =]

I'm working very hard now,
earn back those $$ i spent.
whatever i spent on those watches, bags, camera etc.
hehe. The chinese guandian once asked,
"why u need so much of $$ when u're still so small (young)?"
XD This is why! i spend alot, spend more than earn!
if my parent are suppose to sponsor me all these stuff,
they're going to declare backruptcy soooooooon!!!!! =3

Going home, bubbye!!

April* whatsup!

I noticed days actually run faster than me,
i can never overtake it, or make sure that i spend them wisely n properly.
I'm lazy of doing things,
college reopen after a month of semester break.
I am happy about it, because finally i've something to do.
Not to be that bored.
Whole week only 1 day class,
i wonder whether i mentioned it of not on my previous post.
I think i did lo. LOL.
Don't mind ya, i just feeling lazy to backspace those that i've typed.

In April, start with april fool, which is 1st of April.
Few years ago, there was a singer that commited suicide on the same date.
I wonder do people actually remembered him?
I heard some of his songs today,
i found those songs, normal, nothing special.
Perhaps it might be disrespectful to claim that after his death,
atleast, respect his last record.
I think if the radio did not play his songs,
i don't even recall his death.
He is quite a handsome guy,
but a gay. = wasted. LOL
On that day, i did not fool anyone.
I can't even feel that season's fever.
None of my friend fooled me too.
Then i recalled of those days when i'm still in the secondary school.
All kind of nonsense during school days on april fool.
But now, none.
=D Proven that i actually grown.
I feel fooling around is a bit childish.
Maybe i felt that way because no victims. hahax.
On that night, i went out to have some drink with few friends.
We went McDonald, we chatted.
Nothing special,
but 2 of them actually wondering would this meeting up was a trap of april fool.
Eventually, it was not. I've never thought of it.

Yesterday i attended a gathering nearby my place.
A BBQ gathering for everyone to meet up for some chat,
since it was long time ago for our last meeting up.
It was quite fun.
No BBQ for next gathering.
I personally don't like BBQ, although i made good and cooked food. =P
Don't like the heat of barbecuing the chicken and sausages. =(
Bad for my skin.
On that night, we planned to go Genting highland.
Can't pick the best date for everyone, therefore some can't go,
and some finally make it for this trip.
We set it on the 19 of april.
2 days 1 night.
I'm looking forward to that trip.
I never went genting highland before. LOL
aha, don't mistaken, i haven't finish my sentence.
i mean never went to Genting with this gang of friend.
I did not take any photo during that gathering.
I think it's better to keep the habit of snapping photo during all events.
I might need them for blogging, agree? kekez.
There is suppose to be a camp fire and a district PLTC on the 19 of april.
But both postponed and cancelled.
That day is my elder bro bro's bufday.
I think it's okay for me to miss his celebration,
1stly, he won't mind,
2ndly, my mum didn't appeared to be forbiding me from going that genting trip. =)
I'll surely remember to send his a bufday greeting through SMS. ^^

So, look forward to my next posting on Genting trip,
it'll be interesting, i think.
ah, besides that, i starts my part-time job again on tomorrow. =
However, i still think it's better to work rather than sitting at home. Ciao!

我快要闷死了

我快要闷死了
Can't understand?
It means i'm almost dying because of "boredness".
Is there such word? who cares.

Do u believe this? u'll never believe this.
i have only one class in one week.

哎呀，我不行啦。
我说我哦，真是烂。
有课又吵，没课时又吵。
我每个星期才有哪么一天课
真是希望能有多一点课

突然手提响了
我也慌了慌
能说什么呢?
有位朋友的母亲过世了
我其实知道也没什么用
我也帮不了什么忙
希望那朋友能撑过去咯

嗨哟!我不打了
没mood.

i felt sympathy to him and his family on the lost of his mother.