Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Where to tell? who to turn to?

...........
I'm feeling bad.
I'm not happy.
Where to tell?
Who should i turn to?
I wonder...
Once, i thought family such as my parent
are always there for me...
when i feel bad, when i feel sad,
i can always go to them....
i can always tell them....
i can always turn to them and cry at them....
But how if i'm not happy or i'm sad because of them?
where? who?
if what i once thought was right,
one day, they will be leaving.....
who next? where next?
Why can't i tell that i'm not happy when i'm not?
i don't even have the right to tell that i'm not happy?
not even allow to compaint a bit?
When i'm not happy,
i need someone that i can tell....
if i don't tell....
don't you think i'm making myself as a bomb...?
One day i'll 'boom' and everything will be too late to be redone....
and i get the blame for that....
why not you just think deep that who made the bomb.........?!
i can't even tell that i'm not happy?
i can't even tell that i'm tired of all this?
........................
I hate this life....
i know some people may want my life so much....
they can't even have the chance to live such a life......
i want to appreciate it a lot...
but i think.... i just can't but fall even deeper into it....
'IT' is the feeling that i don't like this world.
Life is so miserable.....
my mother once said that i were too naive, know too little about this world......
i tell you what......!
i know many things about this world....
i'm not being naive!
i just don't like myself living in this kind of world!!
.............
best way to disappear from this 'not my world'
end myself in it.....
Commit suicide?!
i always think that it is something stupid and foolish....
and i still think it is!
I'll just lock myself and make my heart blind
when i meet something that i'm not happy to....
Life is short......
i don't mind living my life this way for this short life....
it'll ends when its the day it needs to end.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Silent, Joyful, Boxing

Silent Night of 2008
it was really a silent night
As usual,
i went to my grandmother house every silent night since she became a christian.
i don't mind celebrating christmas.
i'm not a christian. but i love festival....
which is more lovely, more silent, joyful, and boxing..... lol.
such as silent night, christmas, and boxing day.
new year day, april fool, easter day too.
except for festival that gives me impression such as
hot, noise, and smoky....
i mean Lunar new year in case u don't get it.
So, i send my kakak to my ama (grandma in hokkien) place
so she can help out..... a bit....
she really didn't help lot....
Ama did everything by herself,
my kakak sit and watch tv only....
Waste my petrol and waste my kakak's time....
I went to the gathering by driving myself,
with my sister,
parent and second bro in another car,
elder bro drove his own car.
shock? why 1 family so many car...?
Kakak have no pace to sit if we drove only 1 car.
if there is seat, will be squishing together.....
with me, and my second bro plus my sis.
i plan to go off earlier one.
when we reach there, we makan lo. as usual.
After makan, we get our presents lo.
actually is cousin distribute the presents and my sis will distribute theirs.
so, after getting the present want to ciao one.
but then one of the little cousin, jun kai
open his present and found out that my sis actually gave him a racing car
which need to be build.
so i help him to build the car.
but at the end, the car can't move. paisei... i'm not good in those... (just an excuse, i also don't know why can't work i followed the instruction)
After that we went back lo.
My elder bro went home with us too.
He brought some broad games back.
such as Life and Monopoly.
so my elder bro, my sis and i played until 4am.
My second bro fix my aunt's laptop until late too...
this is the differences between us....
he don't like board games....
or i shall say we seldom play with our elder bro,
and he don't like to.....
was a tiring night.
My elder bro was the first one to knock off.....
he slept over the game...
and my sis too addicted to the game....
she never let me to withdraw from the game
until i'm bankrupt....
i'm talking about Monopoly....
that's why i'm scared of her...
really.... i ended up cheating her in every game to makeit end faster...... =P
Christmas day of 2008
On the christmas day,
i think i actually went to fraser hill for a half day trip.
Of course, i drove....
and i expand my and get my travelling driving license from my parent to fraser hill.
That afternoon after lunch,
my dad suddenly wanted to go somewhere for a day trip....
i called it half day because when we depart,
it was already 3pm.
we go through the old road from jalan mahameru then go straight.
there is another road at jalan duta.
after that followed the road to rawang.
then the kota kampung bahru.
after that...... can't remember.... but as long as i hit the road....
i'll remember how to go....

Along the way to fraser hill....
there are nice scene....
sideseeing lo....
so we stop by and took some pictures.
that is something we see lo....
big lake with grey blue mountain.... green field.....
The lake was so big.....
small small land on top of it....
i captured the whole image into my mind... at that very moment.
The one who drive the car get the merits...
shortly we arrived at the gap of fraser hill...
where there will be gate and timing for cars and go up hill and come down...
it is known as the gap.
Again, after a narrow zipzap road.
we arrived at the landmark of fraser hill....
the colonial clock tower.....
I still remember while i was little....
My grandma took some picture with me at this spot....
i misses her....
not that christian grandma of mine...
the one who took care of me... my mother's mother...
i love her... she passed away while i was 10....
i think i did something terrible to her...
i'll always remember what i did and never let it happen again to anyone of my close family member.
This is the map of the fraser hill....
the hill is not big....
car can go around the hill in an hour.
there are many nice places to stay and nice scenery.
flower, green field...
fresh air if there is no bus.....
the bus polluted the air.....
if i'm here to have my holiday,
i'll rent a bicycle and ride along the hill....
books to read before i go to sleep...
sit at the garden to play board games with who so ever...
go jungle trekking... and the prior enjoyment will be sleep!! =D


Nice scenery? if i have $$.
i'll go play golf....
if i know how to play....
i'll have a match....
lol.
After awhile, we need to go back down....
because the last down hill will be at 6.30pm.
and the last uphill will be around 7.15pm.

These is what u can see when u come to zipzap and steep curve....
these bamboo will grow and become great protection to fraser and prevention of landslide.
After reaching at the town below Fraser,
we had our dinner there.
we order something normal as usual...
it was tasty...
maybe because i was hungry. lol.


Boxing day of 2008
On the boxing day of 2008,
it was a friday.
my mother took leave on that day.
she had long leave....
we went to Pavilion to have lunch.
without my dad.
my mother, my sis and i.
We walked for so long and we decided to have Ichiban Sushi.
It seems more reasonable compared to other sushi restoran.
we just thought of having sushi.



Ichiban Sushi.... abit expensive...
but compare to sushi king...
more choice, better taste....
a wise choice if u want sushi.

This is Salmon.... my favorite... =)
I had alot of sushi on that day....
These are what we took.
a lot? or little?
after having lunch we decided to go home immediately,
because the charges for the parking would kill us.
while we pay at the automatic machine,
we saw a notice...
if spent above 100, if i'm not mistaken...
we can have 2 hours free of charge...
so we go and claim....
but then....
after that we decide to walk a while and hit at the entrance to have a lot at the deco for christmas.
Newspaper said there is a crystal snow world at the entrance...
but i think we went to the wrong entrance....
the below is what we saw......
disappointed.... lol.

After that we went to Mid valley because i want to go to MPH and my sis want to go to the toy 'r'us to buy monopoly board game.....
so we arrived at mid valley shortly...
after we went to MPH,
went to took few photos.

I must run fast once i pluck the star from the tree....
and hints... i did a lot of plucking and stealing at the end of 2008 and begining of 2009.
that's all for my most joyful season.
Silent night, Christmas day, and boxing day!