Where to tell? who to turn to?

...........

I'm feeling bad.

I'm not happy.

Where to tell?

Who should i turn to?

I wonder...

Once, i thought family such as my parent

are always there for me...

when i feel bad, when i feel sad,

i can always go to them....

i can always tell them....

i can always turn to them and cry at them....

But how if i'm not happy or i'm sad because of them?

where? who?

if what i once thought was right,

one day, they will be leaving.....

who next? where next?

Why can't i tell that i'm not happy when i'm not?

i don't even have the right to tell that i'm not happy?

not even allow to compaint a bit?

When i'm not happy,

i need someone that i can tell....

if i don't tell....

don't you think i'm making myself as a bomb...?

One day i'll 'boom' and everything will be too late to be redone....

and i get the blame for that....

why not you just think deep that who made the bomb.........?!

i can't even tell that i'm not happy?

i can't even tell that i'm tired of all this?

........................

I hate this life....

i know some people may want my life so much....

they can't even have the chance to live such a life......

i want to appreciate it a lot...

but i think.... i just can't but fall even deeper into it....

'IT' is the feeling that i don't like this world.

Life is so miserable.....

my mother once said that i were too naive, know too little about this world......

i tell you what......!

i know many things about this world....

i'm not being naive!

i just don't like myself living in this kind of world!!

.............

best way to disappear from this 'not my world'

end myself in it.....

Commit suicide?!

i always think that it is something stupid and foolish....

and i still think it is!

I'll just lock myself and make my heart blind

when i meet something that i'm not happy to....

Life is short......

i don't mind living my life this way for this short life....

it'll ends when its the day it needs to end.