Where to tell? who to turn to?

...........

I'm feeling bad.

I'm not happy.

Where to tell?

Who should i turn to?

I wonder...

Once, i thought family such as my parent

are always there for me...

when i feel bad, when i feel sad,

i can always go to them....

i can always tell them....

i can always turn to them and cry at them....

But how if i'm not happy or i'm sad because of them?

where? who?

if what i once thought was right,

one day, they will be leaving.....

who next? where next?

Why can't i tell that i'm not happy when i'm not?

i don't even have the right to tell that i'm not happy?

not even allow to compaint a bit?

When i'm not happy,

i need someone that i can tell....

if i don't tell....

don't you think i'm making myself as a bomb...?

One day i'll 'boom' and everything will be too late to be redone....

and i get the blame for that....

why not you just think deep that who made the bomb.........?!

i can't even tell that i'm not happy?

i can't even tell that i'm tired of all this?

........................

I hate this life....

i know some people may want my life so much....

they can't even have the chance to live such a life......

i want to appreciate it a lot...

but i think.... i just can't but fall even deeper into it....

'IT' is the feeling that i don't like this world.

Life is so miserable.....

my mother once said that i were too naive, know too little about this world......

i tell you what......!

i know many things about this world....

i'm not being naive!

i just don't like myself living in this kind of world!!

.............

best way to disappear from this 'not my world'

end myself in it.....

Commit suicide?!

i always think that it is something stupid and foolish....

and i still think it is!

I'll just lock myself and make my heart blind

when i meet something that i'm not happy to....

Life is short......

i don't mind living my life this way for this short life....

it'll ends when its the day it needs to end.

Silent, Joyful, Boxing

Silent Night of 2008

it was really a silent night

As usual,

i went to my grandmother house every silent night since she became a christian.

i don't mind celebrating christmas.

i'm not a christian. but i love festival....

which is more lovely, more silent, joyful, and boxing..... lol.

such as silent night, christmas, and boxing day.

new year day, april fool, easter day too.

except for festival that gives me impression such as

hot, noise, and smoky....

i mean Lunar new year in case u don't get it.

So, i send my kakak to my ama (grandma in hokkien) place

so she can help out..... a bit....

she really didn't help lot....

Ama did everything by herself,

my kakak sit and watch tv only....

Waste my petrol and waste my kakak's time....

I went to the gathering by driving myself,

with my sister,

parent and second bro in another car,

elder bro drove his own car.

shock? why 1 family so many car...?

Kakak have no pace to sit if we drove only 1 car.

if there is seat, will be squishing together.....

with me, and my second bro plus my sis.

i plan to go off earlier one.

when we reach there, we makan lo. as usual.

After makan, we get our presents lo.

actually is cousin distribute the presents and my sis will distribute theirs.

so, after getting the present want to ciao one.

but then one of the little cousin, jun kai

open his present and found out that my sis actually gave him a racing car

which need to be build.

so i help him to build the car.

but at the end, the car can't move. paisei... i'm not good in those... (just an excuse, i also don't know why can't work i followed the instruction)

After that we went back lo.

My elder bro went home with us too.

He brought some broad games back.

such as Life and Monopoly.

so my elder bro, my sis and i played until 4am.

My second bro fix my aunt's laptop until late too...

this is the differences between us....

he don't like board games....

or i shall say we seldom play with our elder bro,

and he don't like to.....

was a tiring night.

My elder bro was the first one to knock off.....

he slept over the game...

and my sis too addicted to the game....

she never let me to withdraw from the game

until i'm bankrupt....

i'm talking about Monopoly....

that's why i'm scared of her...

really.... i ended up cheating her in every game to makeit end faster...... =P

Christmas day of 2008

On the christmas day,

i think i actually went to fraser hill for a half day trip.

Of course, i drove....

and i expand my and get my travelling driving license from my parent to fraser hill.

That afternoon after lunch,

my dad suddenly wanted to go somewhere for a day trip....

i called it half day because when we depart,

it was already 3pm.

we go through the old road from jalan mahameru then go straight.

there is another road at jalan duta.

after that followed the road to rawang.

then the kota kampung bahru.

after that...... can't remember.... but as long as i hit the road....

i'll remember how to go....

Along the way to fraser hill....

there are nice scene....

sideseeing lo....

so we stop by and took some pictures.

that is something we see lo....

big lake with grey blue mountain.... green field.....

The lake was so big.....

small small land on top of it....

i captured the whole image into my mind... at that very moment.

The one who drive the car get the merits...

shortly we arrived at the gap of fraser hill...

where there will be gate and timing for cars and go up hill and come down...

it is known as the gap.

Again, after a narrow zipzap road.

we arrived at the landmark of fraser hill....

the colonial clock tower.....

I still remember while i was little....

My grandma took some picture with me at this spot....

i misses her....

not that christian grandma of mine...

the one who took care of me... my mother's mother...

i love her... she passed away while i was 10....

i think i did something terrible to her...

i'll always remember what i did and never let it happen again to anyone of my close family member.

This is the map of the fraser hill....
the hill is not big....
car can go around the hill in an hour.
there are many nice places to stay and nice scenery.
flower, green field...
fresh air if there is no bus.....
the bus polluted the air.....
if i'm here to have my holiday,
i'll rent a bicycle and ride along the hill....
books to read before i go to sleep...
sit at the garden to play board games with who so ever...
go jungle trekking... and the prior enjoyment will be sleep!! =D


Nice scenery? if i have $$.
i'll go play golf....
if i know how to play....
i'll have a match....
lol.
After awhile, we need to go back down....
because the last down hill will be at 6.30pm.
and the last uphill will be around 7.15pm.

These is what u can see when u come to zipzap and steep curve....
these bamboo will grow and become great protection to fraser and prevention of landslide.
After reaching at the town below Fraser,
we had our dinner there.
we order something normal as usual...
it was tasty...
maybe because i was hungry. lol.


Boxing day of 2008
On the boxing day of 2008,
it was a friday.
my mother took leave on that day.
she had long leave....
we went to Pavilion to have lunch.
without my dad.
my mother, my sis and i.
We walked for so long and we decided to have Ichiban Sushi.
It seems more reasonable compared to other sushi restoran.
we just thought of having sushi.

Ichiban Sushi.... abit expensive...

but compare to sushi king...

more choice, better taste....

a wise choice if u want sushi.

This is Salmon.... my favorite... =)

I had alot of sushi on that day....

These are what we took.

a lot? or little?

after having lunch we decided to go home immediately,

because the charges for the parking would kill us.

while we pay at the automatic machine,

we saw a notice...

if spent above 100, if i'm not mistaken...

we can have 2 hours free of charge...

so we go and claim....

but then....

after that we decide to walk a while and hit at the entrance to have a lot at the deco for christmas.

Newspaper said there is a crystal snow world at the entrance...

but i think we went to the wrong entrance....

the below is what we saw......

disappointed.... lol.

After that we went to Mid valley because i want to go to MPH and my sis want to go to the toy 'r'us to buy monopoly board game.....

so we arrived at mid valley shortly...

after we went to MPH,

went to took few photos.

I must run fast once i pluck the star from the tree....

and hints... i did a lot of plucking and stealing at the end of 2008 and begining of 2009.

that's all for my most joyful season.

Silent night, Christmas day, and boxing day!

....... Elaine's gone.....

........ Elaine is gone.........

Elaine went to USA, Williamsburg, Virgina.

if i'm not mistaken.

So we throw a farewell for her on friday night,

28 of nov.

i'm sad....

because i ended up paying more for the farewell,

so do Chean. =(

I'm also sad that Elaine was leaving.

i will miss her during gathering,

when her voice is not hear.

Me and Chean decided to buy some food and go over to her house for the farewell,

just the night before,

we decided to buy KFC and pack some chinese fried too.

She is incharge of the present,

and i'm incharge of the food.

On that day,

i left my house around 4.45pm.

I went to equine aeon KFC to pack 2 bucket set,

which cost me Rm140,

and pick up Ong.

After picking up Ong,

Chean said we can take our time,

so we decided to go buy chinese fried before getting her.

Fried Rice and "MoonLight river" kuai Teow fried with raw egg.

after packing, we went to pick up Chean and depart to Elaine place.

We reach there at around 6.45pm

which is the earlier.

Me and Chean chat with Elaine for awhile,

Ong was playing with Elaine's PC.

After awhile, around 7.30pm,

we are too hungry to wait for the others,

we decided to take the food first.

We makan, after awhile we discuss who'll be the one who came last.

Ong said Chai Voon and Choi Fui will be the next,

since they are near by.

and Pui Ling will be the last.

Pui Ling came after we talked about her being last,

follow by the others, Chai Voon and sister became the last.

We eat and sing karaoke.

they did not sing karaoke, they actually shout karaoke.

Key all off. that's us.

Took some photo after that.

Group Photo, those who went, almost all.

After that some went back.

First was Chai Voon and Choi Fui,

then Seah,

After Seah went home, those hantu mabuk came.

They asked me to buy 2 dozen cans of Heineken.

I bought 2 Big Bottles.

Because (1) I don't have money, (2) i don't drink.

After they drink,

then Phileas and Fiona went back,

then Hao you and Blacky,

We still stay until 2am i think.

Those with older one la.

Me, Pui Ling, Dason, Chean, Ong.

We sing, and talk, we joke,

and until Elaine's dad came back home.

He lesson and chit chat with us.
About life.

Pui Ling was acting like a child throughout the whole lessoning.

She wanted to go home.

keep on whisppering and barking to Dason.

So we decided to go home when the clock almost hit 2am.

I reach home around 2.45am.

On sunday, 30 Nov.

Chean, Ong, and Me decided to see her taking off at KLIA.

So i msg Pui Ling and dason to see whether they wanted to go.

we went together.

When we reach there around 6.30pm,

we walked around and took some pictures.

We saw a sunset scenery, and we walked closer and decided to go out and took some photos.

after taking photos we went in again and start looking for elaine's friends that came to see her.

We found them and they call elaine to check see whether she reach yet.

It was a suprise for her.

Ah, and this is what Ong and Dason doing when we start looking for elaine.

Ong is pushing him.

Children are looking at them.

It was embrassing to stand near to them or admit that they are with us.

After awhile we saw Elaine....

We quickly hide ourselve behind a big huge pillar.

Pui Ling and Dason keep on saying that she saw us.

but actually, she did not.

So, It suprised!

Before that we all msg her n wish her safe duing the trip,

and lie that we can't make it. lol.

This is how she looks when we saw her.

she is so dump.

She bang the counter with her trolley.

I think she was happy to see her friends at the airport.

She is dump enough to even left her laptop bag at the trolley and walk away quite a distance from it.

After she check in,

As usual, we take photos,

All together first,

and then one with one.

Dason went first. they was thinking how to pose.

so we asked dason to be gentlemen,

and this is it.

Opps, sorry, photo corrupted.

Pui Ling is the second one.

I think both of them always pose.

then Chean.

Elaine decide on the posing.

Why always head have to be near or sticking together?

Afterthat was Ong.

Elaine said she wanted that way.

It's like she is hugging a big teddy bear. LOL.

Lastly, me. =) She decided on the pose of hugging too.

if u can see... i tried to avoid too.

She was trying to did something else.

she pecked on me. =S

And after that we walked around and talk abit....

we take some funny photos.

Dason and Elaine.... Do they MATCH? lol. i've got no comment.

This pose is ok, reasonable.....

the next is.... funny...

What happened on this earth..............

How come the girl is hugging the guy this way....

the guy should be hugging the girl from behind...

Dason seems to be enjoying the huggie. LOl.

I got unspeakable comment on this photo.

Everytime i see it.... i feel....... erm.... better not say...

Ah, by the way,

she went to US with another girl from her college.

This is her, her name is Meow.

Dason is not a friend of her.

Dason told us that she is pretty and he want a photo with her.

So i put him on to the stage by telling Elaine.

Asking Elaine to tell her that Dason admire her,

and wanted a photo with her.

just to see her respond.

if she say no... its ok.

but if she say yes, Dason is going to get his dream girl to take a photo with him.

That girl say YES!

and Elaine managed to bring her over.

Dason jadi turtle pulak.......

But after some teasing... he and she... finally get the shot.

Around 8.45pm, she went and met with her agent,

and she enter into the departure hall....

Bye.

Genting with 2 friends, zheng, and my dear MUM. lol

On the 16 of November,

Yen Li, and June, both my secondary buddies,

my mother, Zheng and I

went to Genting Highland.

It was before my exam,

just after my study break starts.

Was ok, although i don't really like the theme park thing, honestly,

but the overall still ok.

I never went trip with both of them.

Privte trip la, during schooling, we went to PRS camp together.

No fun. LOL.

So took some photos.

We went to theme park 1st,

the second day we take vegetarian food at the Genting's temple,

took "some" photos too.

This is where the joruney to the underworld which located in the temple area.

That is the "Mang Po Teng".

There is a gramma who will serve the dead soul to drink "Mang Po" soup,

which will make the soul forgot everything about this life and proceed to the next life.

Actually i got no idea whether its true or what.

just some old old story made up by people, perhaps. who knows.

That is a dog, and i'm just pretending to be it.

I wonder how that dog die, and what he did.

this is the 10th gate.... i can't remember what kind of purnishment and judgement in this gate.

Sorry, i'm not those buddha educated one.

I'm just a 1% Taoist, i pray when i'm "forced" to. lol

And according to what i read during my visit,

i'm going into Hell for not respecting the god.

I always did tat. so, i'm going hell.

But i believe that this world is the hell...

I believe in Karma, do u?

i believe that what u did, u pay. =) so careful ya.

This is Yen Li and the servant of MangPo.

Begging for the soup.... see next photo. LOL.
"Gimme me the soup! damit!" LOL
She is so funny! lol. June and I laugh until stomachache.

The one in Green is "LuPun".
He is some officer of the Hell.

I don't remember his story anymore.

but if one day, i get to read about his story,

i'll post it. =) ok?

This is the rebirth/reborn/"recarnation" wheel. got that word?

nvm, i'll double check in those religous book.

so i assumed i'm born into the upper group. lol.

Yen Li again, June and I got no idea is she doing there.

Whatever, its really not important at all.

Maybe she is just think "something"

This is the big "GuanYin".

It's very huge. Actually that temple change alot.
I can't say it become commecialise,

but it improve the deco of the garden,

and now visitor can even stay in the temple.

Inside temple got rooms for rent. lol.

rates are slightly cheaper than normal rate lo.

the temple is not at the top hill.

The view... terribly nice. u need to be there la. if u want to look at the view.

didn't manage to take any photo of the view. raining.

This is the 7 guardian of "WangMu Liang Liang"

so susah to take all with me....

I'm not the photographer, if i'm, easy job lo.

but anyway, thanks to Yen Li for taking the photo.

Enjoy the wind...... really got wind?! who cares.....

the rocks actually looks like a LOVE.

wonder if u can imagine it.

That is my mother.

Thebuilding behind her is something new.

that's i took it with my mother,

to show my dad. =]

Really love my mother.

She follow me to Genting just to help us pay every expenses.

Of course, we need to pay back.

She took the chance to relax and rest her mind.

Lim Goh Tong and us.

This is how the people treat someone who is dead.

Human are like that.

when nothing happen, no one cares,

but once that generous one died,

people start to cry and memorise him. *funny*

My mother and I. look alike right?

Yen Li.... relieved? tomorrow got work..... pity her.

The.... thousand hand Guan Yin.

I think it is not Guan Yin, i got no idea what is it.

i only know that its in black....><"

My mother and my sister, Zhen.

The following photos are some photos in the theme park

and some photos of food we took.

Thousand hand Guan Yin

Yen Li and June

The food.

Steps to the heaven. LOL. link to the dragon fly.

100km/h, see......! tea cup tea cup.....

damn dizzy.....

me lo.... that Yen Li and June, can't play this...

they said want to vomit after that.

Love her alot!! Muax!

There are more photos.... but difficult to upload here.

You can go to my friendster or facebook to have a look if u want.

Friendster---> www.friendster.com/dlcw

Facebook---> i think u need to be my friend to look into my album. haha. too bad.

Bye! next blogging will be on silent night, christmas day and boxing day.

not so soon... =)